Way to go Dad. I can't believe you! I call you with 3-4 months notice to let you know that I will not be traveling to VA in June and therefore will not be dropping the boys off as I have in years past, but that I will be there in August to pick them up. At your house.
I told you that I would not be driving to Florence, SC to meet halfway...which since we've moved further south....again....is no longer halfway. I hate that if you fly them, it has to be out of Jacksonville to get a direct connect flight because that entails traveling 6-7 hours...3-3 1/2 there and 3-3 1/2 back...as well as sitting there until their plane is in the air without difficulties. In other words it's still an ALL. DAY. AFFAIR. It would also require my husband taking off work...NOT COOL...as my van will not make it there and back so he would need to drive his work truck.
Since my van won't make it and you insist on flying them, you're now going to have to pay double what you had planned to fly them out of Tallahassee. I'm not at all OK with that as I have made evident to you MULTIPLE times as I feel that they are not ready to fly alone if there is a connecting flight. They're flying through an airport they've never been in and having to try to find their way from one gate to the next...alone. Again, something they've never done as the last time they flew...on a 1 stop flight...was with me....almost 5 years ago. What really bothers me is that one of these boys is Autistic and very childlike even though he is 12 1/2. It bothers me that you really don't know anything about these boys and are willing to unleash them in an airport, hundreds of miles from home, with total strangers and I'm sure child predators and you DON'T CARE!! ANYTHING can happen to one or both of these boys and YOU DON'T CARE!! I am not comfortable with them changing planes.
And let's talk about this scheduling/financing issue. You can't afford to pay double and we can't go to Jacksonville until at least July if it is to be done on a weekend due to my husband and I having plans. I'm getting REALLY tired of not being able to make any plans in the next few weeks due to waiting to hear from you as to when they're going to fly. You had said just 1 week ago that we'd probably have to meet you in SC since airfare was so high...something we were already expecting due to your lack of booking them on a flight before that day. We have already set aside this Saturday for traveling thinking we were going to be meeting you. Since I never heard back from you, I sent you a text saying we'd meet you in SC this Saturday...to which you replied that you can't because of prior side work lined up and really needing that money. NEWS FLASH JACKHOLE.....Rick had to RE-SCHEDULE side work last summer when you called us...with only 2 days notice...to tell us that since you had not been able to find a good deal on airfare, you'd be bringing them to SC on Saturday. Did I tell you that "No. Rick has side work lined up and we really need the money"...which we did because our electric bill was over $500-$600/mo? NO. I DID NOT. I said "OK. Let me call Rick and tell him to reschedule the side work."
Well since you've waited until the last possible minute to do all of this, you've upset your son by getting the boys later than specified per our agreement, which means less time he gets to spend with you this summer. Sadly that doesn't even seem to phase you and the fact that you could care less about how he feels really makes me not want to send them at all. What did you tell me earlier when I was talking to you and telling you how Timothy reacted the other day...when I was looking around online to help you find cheaper flights and found some for under $200 for the first week in July? You said the same thing I did. TOUGH. Now it's OK for me to tell him that because I'm not the one who screwed up. It's not MY fault that they're not coming to you this weekend per our agreement.
Heaven forbid you take your family on a vacation to FL to see your family down here and to pick your kids up. We plan a vacation EVERY summer to VA to see friends and family. You make $6/hr more than my husband. Your wife also has a full time job. Now I realize that you also have a much higher mortgage payment as well as a car payment, but even with that in mind, I would still be budgeting our money to ensure we got that yearly trip to VA. You're so damn afraid of losing money or missing "the big one" that you refuse to travel too far from home for an extended period of time. I know for a fat that you're entitled to time off because at the demise of our marriage, you were entitled to 2 weeks. Now even if you haven't earned any more than that, you've still got 2 whole weeks to work with each year. There's no reason you can't budget a family vacation into that.
It galls me that you honestly don't care about seeing them. It breaks my heart for them that they look forward to this all year long and then get their hearts broken as they ride the roller coaster known as Dan's hoops. The up and down and back and forth decision making. The hoops I'm having to jump through to ensure that MY KIDS see THEIR FATHER even when he seems to not want to see them. I honestly believe that the only reason you take them during the summer is to get that 2 months off of child support payments. You don't take them on vacations...other than to see your parents in NC for a weekend. You don't take them camping. You don't take any time off work or the firehouse to spend the day with them. You don't do anything special with them. Why should they come see you just to sit around all day watching TV or playing on the computer/video games or taking the occasional dip in the pool?
At least here they can go to a pool...that they can actually swim around in...WITH THEIR FRIENDS. They can go to the park. They can go to the Springs and swim or take a boat tour. They can go on camp outs with the Scouts. There's lots more fun stuff to do here...and they know it'll be more fun to be here too, but they're still willing to give up all that fun just so they can see their dad. A dad who doesn't care about them. A dad that has taken them off his health insurance plan. A dad who neglects to acknowledge one of their birthdays because...out of sight, out of mind. A dad that doesn't call to check up on them or to chat with them. A dad who would much rather spend his time at the firehouse than with them when they're in town visiting.
I guess I should have known that it would be this way though. I mean after all, when we first split up, you rarely took them when it was your weekend. In fact, you didn't start taking them regularly until after you got remarried and we went to court for custody over my wanting to leave the state. You only came to a few sporting events in the 3 seasons of sport that they did. You only came to one back to school night in the 4 years they attended school in VA. You only wanted school pics when I not only offered them to you, but paid for them as well. Once I made you pay for your own, you stopped getting them. You've never truly cared about these boys. You abandoned them and their mother for another woman and her daughter, went on to marry said woman and proceeded to have another daughter with her. You've got your own little family that doesn't include these boys and it breaks my heart that they still haven't realized this yet and will be crushed later in life when they do.
No worries though. I'm their mother and I will be here for them to help pick up the pieces. I will be the one they turn to and say "Thanks for being there for me through all of these years and for backing me up and supporting me in everything I did. Thank you for pushing me to do good in school and get all of my homework done even when I fought you and threw fits. Thank you for making all of those sacrifices, big and small so that us boys could have all that we do." The best part...I will be the one who can stand back and let these boys go, knowing that I did my best to raise and support them. That I never withheld anything within financial means. That even if it meant I went without, they did not.
So keep on keeping on with what you're doing and know that no matter what, I'm always going to be here for them and make sure they know it.
Sincerely,
The mother of your boys
