Way to go Dad. I can't believe you! I call you with 3-4 months notice to let you know that I will not be traveling to VA in June and therefore will not be dropping the boys off as I have in years past, but that I will be there in August to pick them up. At your house.
I told you that I would not be driving to Florence, SC to meet halfway...which since we've moved further south....again....is no longer halfway. I hate that if you fly them, it has to be out of Jacksonville to get a direct connect flight because that entails traveling 6-7 hours...3-3 1/2 there and 3-3 1/2 back...as well as sitting there until their plane is in the air without difficulties. In other words it's still an ALL. DAY. AFFAIR. It would also require my husband taking off work...NOT COOL...as my van will not make it there and back so he would need to drive his work truck.
Since my van won't make it and you insist on flying them, you're now going to have to pay double what you had planned to fly them out of Tallahassee. I'm not at all OK with that as I have made evident to you MULTIPLE times as I feel that they are not ready to fly alone if there is a connecting flight. They're flying through an airport they've never been in and having to try to find their way from one gate to the next...alone. Again, something they've never done as the last time they flew...on a 1 stop flight...was with me....almost 5 years ago. What really bothers me is that one of these boys is Autistic and very childlike even though he is 12 1/2. It bothers me that you really don't know anything about these boys and are willing to unleash them in an airport, hundreds of miles from home, with total strangers and I'm sure child predators and you DON'T CARE!! ANYTHING can happen to one or both of these boys and YOU DON'T CARE!! I am not comfortable with them changing planes.
And let's talk about this scheduling/financing issue. You can't afford to pay double and we can't go to Jacksonville until at least July if it is to be done on a weekend due to my husband and I having plans. I'm getting REALLY tired of not being able to make any plans in the next few weeks due to waiting to hear from you as to when they're going to fly. You had said just 1 week ago that we'd probably have to meet you in SC since airfare was so high...something we were already expecting due to your lack of booking them on a flight before that day. We have already set aside this Saturday for traveling thinking we were going to be meeting you. Since I never heard back from you, I sent you a text saying we'd meet you in SC this Saturday...to which you replied that you can't because of prior side work lined up and really needing that money. NEWS FLASH JACKHOLE.....Rick had to RE-SCHEDULE side work last summer when you called us...with only 2 days notice...to tell us that since you had not been able to find a good deal on airfare, you'd be bringing them to SC on Saturday. Did I tell you that "No. Rick has side work lined up and we really need the money"...which we did because our electric bill was over $500-$600/mo? NO. I DID NOT. I said "OK. Let me call Rick and tell him to reschedule the side work."
Well since you've waited until the last possible minute to do all of this, you've upset your son by getting the boys later than specified per our agreement, which means less time he gets to spend with you this summer. Sadly that doesn't even seem to phase you and the fact that you could care less about how he feels really makes me not want to send them at all. What did you tell me earlier when I was talking to you and telling you how Timothy reacted the other day...when I was looking around online to help you find cheaper flights and found some for under $200 for the first week in July? You said the same thing I did. TOUGH. Now it's OK for me to tell him that because I'm not the one who screwed up. It's not MY fault that they're not coming to you this weekend per our agreement.
Heaven forbid you take your family on a vacation to FL to see your family down here and to pick your kids up. We plan a vacation EVERY summer to VA to see friends and family. You make $6/hr more than my husband. Your wife also has a full time job. Now I realize that you also have a much higher mortgage payment as well as a car payment, but even with that in mind, I would still be budgeting our money to ensure we got that yearly trip to VA. You're so damn afraid of losing money or missing "the big one" that you refuse to travel too far from home for an extended period of time. I know for a fat that you're entitled to time off because at the demise of our marriage, you were entitled to 2 weeks. Now even if you haven't earned any more than that, you've still got 2 whole weeks to work with each year. There's no reason you can't budget a family vacation into that.
It galls me that you honestly don't care about seeing them. It breaks my heart for them that they look forward to this all year long and then get their hearts broken as they ride the roller coaster known as Dan's hoops. The up and down and back and forth decision making. The hoops I'm having to jump through to ensure that MY KIDS see THEIR FATHER even when he seems to not want to see them. I honestly believe that the only reason you take them during the summer is to get that 2 months off of child support payments. You don't take them on vacations...other than to see your parents in NC for a weekend. You don't take them camping. You don't take any time off work or the firehouse to spend the day with them. You don't do anything special with them. Why should they come see you just to sit around all day watching TV or playing on the computer/video games or taking the occasional dip in the pool?
At least here they can go to a pool...that they can actually swim around in...WITH THEIR FRIENDS. They can go to the park. They can go to the Springs and swim or take a boat tour. They can go on camp outs with the Scouts. There's lots more fun stuff to do here...and they know it'll be more fun to be here too, but they're still willing to give up all that fun just so they can see their dad. A dad who doesn't care about them. A dad that has taken them off his health insurance plan. A dad who neglects to acknowledge one of their birthdays because...out of sight, out of mind. A dad that doesn't call to check up on them or to chat with them. A dad who would much rather spend his time at the firehouse than with them when they're in town visiting.
I guess I should have known that it would be this way though. I mean after all, when we first split up, you rarely took them when it was your weekend. In fact, you didn't start taking them regularly until after you got remarried and we went to court for custody over my wanting to leave the state. You only came to a few sporting events in the 3 seasons of sport that they did. You only came to one back to school night in the 4 years they attended school in VA. You only wanted school pics when I not only offered them to you, but paid for them as well. Once I made you pay for your own, you stopped getting them. You've never truly cared about these boys. You abandoned them and their mother for another woman and her daughter, went on to marry said woman and proceeded to have another daughter with her. You've got your own little family that doesn't include these boys and it breaks my heart that they still haven't realized this yet and will be crushed later in life when they do.
No worries though. I'm their mother and I will be here for them to help pick up the pieces. I will be the one they turn to and say "Thanks for being there for me through all of these years and for backing me up and supporting me in everything I did. Thank you for pushing me to do good in school and get all of my homework done even when I fought you and threw fits. Thank you for making all of those sacrifices, big and small so that us boys could have all that we do." The best part...I will be the one who can stand back and let these boys go, knowing that I did my best to raise and support them. That I never withheld anything within financial means. That even if it meant I went without, they did not.
So keep on keeping on with what you're doing and know that no matter what, I'm always going to be here for them and make sure they know it.
Sincerely,
The mother of your boys
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Just a Little Heads Up....
Dear Senior Stupid,
It's been a while since I've needed to write you but I just want to say that your days of saving money are soon coming to an end. It's not fair that I'm driving the boys ALL. THE. WAY to you in VA and then having to either bring them all the way back or meet you half way. It's also not fair for me to have to drive 3 hours away to the nearest airport to pick them up because you can't afford to fly with them, when I have already driven them all the way to you.
Also, I know you don't have the boys on your insurance which is a direct violation of our current support agreement. I have no problem with being the only one to cover them, but that was another reason the support was set so low.
So you know, I will be seeking out legal council to have the child support raised to what it should be legally. I'm tired of bending over backwards for you and your wife and getting nothing but grief and headaches in return. So No worries, I'm writing this before I call and talk to you, but since I'm pretty sure I know what the answer will be, I felt it best to get this written down. Hope you have a wonderful Holiday Season and we'll be seeing you soon!!
Sincerely,
Your Children's Loving Mother
It's been a while since I've needed to write you but I just want to say that your days of saving money are soon coming to an end. It's not fair that I'm driving the boys ALL. THE. WAY to you in VA and then having to either bring them all the way back or meet you half way. It's also not fair for me to have to drive 3 hours away to the nearest airport to pick them up because you can't afford to fly with them, when I have already driven them all the way to you.
Also, I know you don't have the boys on your insurance which is a direct violation of our current support agreement. I have no problem with being the only one to cover them, but that was another reason the support was set so low.
So you know, I will be seeking out legal council to have the child support raised to what it should be legally. I'm tired of bending over backwards for you and your wife and getting nothing but grief and headaches in return. So No worries, I'm writing this before I call and talk to you, but since I'm pretty sure I know what the answer will be, I felt it best to get this written down. Hope you have a wonderful Holiday Season and we'll be seeing you soon!!
Sincerely,
Your Children's Loving Mother
Monday, October 3, 2011
Wow. Just....WOW.
Hello. Me again. Just wanted to tell you what a wonderful husband you are for planning and throwing your wife a surprise birthday party Saturday. That was really very thoughtful and sweet of you to REMEMBER her birthday. Considering of course that you can't REMEMBER to call your second oldest to wish him a happy birthday or to send your oldest the birthday check my mother sent to him while he was staying with you over the summer. You know....the one that I've called you/emailed your wife about a few times? Yeah. I realize it's only $10 but still. All you had to do was go to your nearest Wells Fargo bank and deposit it into his savings. That way you wouldn't have to spend the $0.44...or whatever the price for postage is now...to send it to him. Honestly Dan, you might be a fantastic husband, but you're a really lousy father. At least to your sons.
Of course it should come as no surprise to me that you can't remember things. After all, I'm the one still waiting for a child support payment from you for the month of Sept. Now I realize that you've sent 2 payments, but since I'm now in FL and was trying to get food stamps to help feed the children that you forget you have, I had to go to the FL DCSE to get the case down here. Now I'm waiting for them to receive said payments and disburse them to me. Why you ask? Because...You. Are. NOT. Responsible enough to REMEMBER to pay. So I am forced to go through the Government agencies to get help collecting payments. You're more pathetic than I ever dreamed you could be. I'm really very disappointed in you. I honestly thought you cared more about these boys.
Good news though!! They no longer care to come visit you and your family. They're done. They want you to pay your support so that I can buy them the clothes they so desire....AND NEED!!!...and that's it. Don't worry about calling or writing. They can't stand being with you anymore. Now of course a lot of it stems from your wife, step daughter and daughter because of how differently they're treated than the girls are....which is TOTALLY WRONG by the way...but due to the simple fact that you take up for the females in your life over your own two sons, yeah. You're no longer their favorite person. So I hope you're happy. I hope you realize that you're losing them. But most of all, I hope that one day, you'll realize exactly what it is you've lost because let me tell you. You're missing out. BIG TIME.
Of course it should come as no surprise to me that you can't remember things. After all, I'm the one still waiting for a child support payment from you for the month of Sept. Now I realize that you've sent 2 payments, but since I'm now in FL and was trying to get food stamps to help feed the children that you forget you have, I had to go to the FL DCSE to get the case down here. Now I'm waiting for them to receive said payments and disburse them to me. Why you ask? Because...You. Are. NOT. Responsible enough to REMEMBER to pay. So I am forced to go through the Government agencies to get help collecting payments. You're more pathetic than I ever dreamed you could be. I'm really very disappointed in you. I honestly thought you cared more about these boys.
Good news though!! They no longer care to come visit you and your family. They're done. They want you to pay your support so that I can buy them the clothes they so desire....AND NEED!!!...and that's it. Don't worry about calling or writing. They can't stand being with you anymore. Now of course a lot of it stems from your wife, step daughter and daughter because of how differently they're treated than the girls are....which is TOTALLY WRONG by the way...but due to the simple fact that you take up for the females in your life over your own two sons, yeah. You're no longer their favorite person. So I hope you're happy. I hope you realize that you're losing them. But most of all, I hope that one day, you'll realize exactly what it is you've lost because let me tell you. You're missing out. BIG TIME.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Finally
Well I have to say, I was surprised to find a payment from you this morning. Of course it's only just been posted on the website so I won't actually get it until tomorrow but nonetheless, a payment has been made. I would thank you, but seeing as how you've received 3...not one, not two but THREE...paychecks and I've only received one CS payment, a "thank you" is hardly in order. Maybe if it was a 3rd payment. So now I have something to put towards buying our children some church clothes. Of course it would have been nice to do this before Saturday as Thing 1 has a trip to the Temple and wants to look his best, but alas, maybe next time. At this rate, I might have enough to get them the nice suits they long for...and really deserve as well...by Thanksgiving.
Moving on, I've noticed that you have accepted Thing 2's friend request on FB but that you have not bothered to write on his wall or message him or ANYTHING. Oh well. He could care less....for now. He's got Daniel Radcliffe, A.K.A. Harry Potter, as his friend. To him, that's the BEST thing since sliced bread. So it would appear that you are off the hook for now but don't worry, it WILL come back to bite you.
Sincerely,
Your children's loving mother
Moving on, I've noticed that you have accepted Thing 2's friend request on FB but that you have not bothered to write on his wall or message him or ANYTHING. Oh well. He could care less....for now. He's got Daniel Radcliffe, A.K.A. Harry Potter, as his friend. To him, that's the BEST thing since sliced bread. So it would appear that you are off the hook for now but don't worry, it WILL come back to bite you.
Sincerely,
Your children's loving mother
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Even More Pathetic...
Good Morning Senior Stupid.
Are. You. Kidding me?! You blew off calling your son ALL DAY on his birthday for a Kegbus?! All day? According to your wife, she didn't put you on the thing until about 5/530....can't really tell when facebook says "x many hours ago" so that's an approximate guess. But then I guess since she had to "pour you into bed" at around 12/1230....again, according to your wife's posting after you got home...you probably needed all day to prepare yourself for your drunkfest. How nice. You blew your son off to get drunk. I'm sure he'll take great comfort in knowing this. I'm sure he'll understand that your friend's bachelor party/drunkfest was way more important than his birthday.
Of course, he won't know until later in life when he's much older and sees this. I refuse to break my children's hearts and tell them what you really think/feel. While I want to protect them from that heartbreak, I also don't want to be the one crush their dreams/ideas about you right now. They look up to you. Practically idolize you. Want to be firefighters just like you. Why? Because I keep your secrets. Well for the most part anyways. Thing 1 knows you're a jerk....or is starting to figure it out anyways....as you still have not paid your child support or sent his birthday money to him. You don't know how badly I want to say something on facebook so that your mom, sister and other mutual friends we have, know just how big of a loser you are. I have always spoke highly of you for paying your child support each month but realized last night....in the previous letter....that in all actuality, you don't.
So I'm going to go spend another day soaking up all the love that these two boys have to offer because I love them and don't know what I would do without them. However I can see that for you, it's that old "out of sight, out of mind" thing. So go enjoy your hangover from hades.
Sincerely,
Your children's loving mother
Are. You. Kidding me?! You blew off calling your son ALL DAY on his birthday for a Kegbus?! All day? According to your wife, she didn't put you on the thing until about 5/530....can't really tell when facebook says "x many hours ago" so that's an approximate guess. But then I guess since she had to "pour you into bed" at around 12/1230....again, according to your wife's posting after you got home...you probably needed all day to prepare yourself for your drunkfest. How nice. You blew your son off to get drunk. I'm sure he'll take great comfort in knowing this. I'm sure he'll understand that your friend's bachelor party/drunkfest was way more important than his birthday.
Of course, he won't know until later in life when he's much older and sees this. I refuse to break my children's hearts and tell them what you really think/feel. While I want to protect them from that heartbreak, I also don't want to be the one crush their dreams/ideas about you right now. They look up to you. Practically idolize you. Want to be firefighters just like you. Why? Because I keep your secrets. Well for the most part anyways. Thing 1 knows you're a jerk....or is starting to figure it out anyways....as you still have not paid your child support or sent his birthday money to him. You don't know how badly I want to say something on facebook so that your mom, sister and other mutual friends we have, know just how big of a loser you are. I have always spoke highly of you for paying your child support each month but realized last night....in the previous letter....that in all actuality, you don't.
So I'm going to go spend another day soaking up all the love that these two boys have to offer because I love them and don't know what I would do without them. However I can see that for you, it's that old "out of sight, out of mind" thing. So go enjoy your hangover from hades.
Sincerely,
Your children's loving mother
Way To Go!!
Dear Senior Stupid,
Hi. It's me again. I guess it's safe to say that you won't be receiving Father of the Year this year! First you have your kids for almost 2 whole months and do nothing with them, other than take them to NC for a weekend to see their grandparents and to the firehouse once in a while to get them out of the house. Then you neglect to pay their child support once you return them and the new month kicks in. But this? This is the low of all lows.
I can see that you care so deeply for your kids, that the one kid you don't have on this day every year, you neglect to call to wish him a happy birthday. He didn't have the greatest day since we're between paychecks and I really thought I'd have gotten some money...at least TWO payments by now mind you...from you for child support so I paid bills and bought groceries instead of setting some aside for a present. Now maybe if I'd received some of the $425 that you owe me for the month, I could have used that for groceries and bills since it is child support and it is supposed to be used to help support the children. Of course you've proven time and time again that you have NO idea what that means. You don't even pay your child support!!
Oh yeah. You forgot about that didn't you. Nope. You have no responsibilities. What. So. Ever. When it comes to these boys who despite your shortcomings, still love and adore you. Back to the subject at hand here your BOSS pays your child support. Not you. Well technically it's his wife but still. It's. Not. You. They add up your hours take out your taxes, ins....which you fail to have your kids on by the way...and then they take out your child support. She is the one who takes it from your paycheck and sends it to the VA DCSE office in Richmond. Then they credit our case and put it in my account. You are totally free of ALL responsibility. You don't pay the support. You don't have them on your ins policy...even though per our agreement you are supposed to.
But again, I digress. So it's bad enough that you're not paying your support and it's bad enough I couldn't afford to buy him a present but for you to totally ignore him the way you did today....WOW. I did the best I could with what I had to work with. I couldn't afford to let him pick out a fancy store made cake but I did let him pick out his birthday cake. He got to help me mix it all together and then after I put the lettering on for him, he decorated it. All. By. Himself. He had fun doing at least that. While I didn't have money or presents to offer him, I did have my time. And I made the most out of that time with him and loved every minute of it. Oh and since my mom sent his b-day card to MY house, he got his $10 b-day check which he is eager to spend.
By the way....where's Thing 1's check? You know, the one I called you about BEFORE we met in SC to exchange the boys? The one that you didn't bring with you because you were going to deposit it into his account that you opened for him? The one that you still have not cashed? Ring any bells? I'm guessing that since you never put it into his account that the other money he got...$40 in cash...for his birthday never made it into the account either. Am I right? Of course I'm right because you probably needed cigarette money. Or your wife needed her wine. Either way he still doesn't have it and is NOT happy. And yes, he know that you still have it too.
So I'm sorry that you don't get to, nor will you ever get to...at least until he graduates, spend his birthday with him but you know what? Keep treating him this way and you might not ever spend it with him. Your call. Consider this your fair warning.
Sincerely,
Your children's loving mother
Hi. It's me again. I guess it's safe to say that you won't be receiving Father of the Year this year! First you have your kids for almost 2 whole months and do nothing with them, other than take them to NC for a weekend to see their grandparents and to the firehouse once in a while to get them out of the house. Then you neglect to pay their child support once you return them and the new month kicks in. But this? This is the low of all lows.
I can see that you care so deeply for your kids, that the one kid you don't have on this day every year, you neglect to call to wish him a happy birthday. He didn't have the greatest day since we're between paychecks and I really thought I'd have gotten some money...at least TWO payments by now mind you...from you for child support so I paid bills and bought groceries instead of setting some aside for a present. Now maybe if I'd received some of the $425 that you owe me for the month, I could have used that for groceries and bills since it is child support and it is supposed to be used to help support the children. Of course you've proven time and time again that you have NO idea what that means. You don't even pay your child support!!
Oh yeah. You forgot about that didn't you. Nope. You have no responsibilities. What. So. Ever. When it comes to these boys who despite your shortcomings, still love and adore you. Back to the subject at hand here your BOSS pays your child support. Not you. Well technically it's his wife but still. It's. Not. You. They add up your hours take out your taxes, ins....which you fail to have your kids on by the way...and then they take out your child support. She is the one who takes it from your paycheck and sends it to the VA DCSE office in Richmond. Then they credit our case and put it in my account. You are totally free of ALL responsibility. You don't pay the support. You don't have them on your ins policy...even though per our agreement you are supposed to.
But again, I digress. So it's bad enough that you're not paying your support and it's bad enough I couldn't afford to buy him a present but for you to totally ignore him the way you did today....WOW. I did the best I could with what I had to work with. I couldn't afford to let him pick out a fancy store made cake but I did let him pick out his birthday cake. He got to help me mix it all together and then after I put the lettering on for him, he decorated it. All. By. Himself. He had fun doing at least that. While I didn't have money or presents to offer him, I did have my time. And I made the most out of that time with him and loved every minute of it. Oh and since my mom sent his b-day card to MY house, he got his $10 b-day check which he is eager to spend.
By the way....where's Thing 1's check? You know, the one I called you about BEFORE we met in SC to exchange the boys? The one that you didn't bring with you because you were going to deposit it into his account that you opened for him? The one that you still have not cashed? Ring any bells? I'm guessing that since you never put it into his account that the other money he got...$40 in cash...for his birthday never made it into the account either. Am I right? Of course I'm right because you probably needed cigarette money. Or your wife needed her wine. Either way he still doesn't have it and is NOT happy. And yes, he know that you still have it too.
So I'm sorry that you don't get to, nor will you ever get to...at least until he graduates, spend his birthday with him but you know what? Keep treating him this way and you might not ever spend it with him. Your call. Consider this your fair warning.
Sincerely,
Your children's loving mother
Seriously?
Dear Senior Stupid,
Alright. Enough is enough. How irresponsible can you be? Do you not enjoy your children's company? Do you not want to see them anymore? I can make that happen.
Why is it that you pitched such a fit over my taking the children out of state but yet when you have them you do nothing with them and when they come home you take forever to start paying your child support?
Let's jump back a few years here, shall we? I seem to recall losing my job and becoming a SAHM doing daycare for a couple of friends until I found something else. Your wife found out that the kids were no longer in daycare and pitched a HUGE fit....resulting in hers and mine I handled things but I rose above it and moved on) blogging wars on Myspace. We wound up not getting along AT ALL for a few months because she felt the CS payments ($978.00/mo) were too high for 2 kids. {side note here~ she was quite jealous that you were paying me almost $1000.00 when she was getting NOTHING from her ex for her daughter.} She wanted you and I to lower the payments because you guys couldn't afford your car payment or your house payment and all that other fun stuff. Eventually you and I came to an agreement and lowered it to $700.00/mo. Things were moving right along until not quite 10mo later I asked you about moving out of the state so that My hubby ("to be" at the time) wouldn't have to quit his really good paying job with great insurance to come back to VA to start over. You said "Nope." I said OK.
Well then not even 2 months after that I get a phone call. It was you. You wanted to offer up a proposition. You would allow me to take the children out of the state IF we were to lower the child support. Again. ARE. YOU. KIDDING ME?!! We just lowered it a year ago! Your wife didn't even have enough money to buy your baby new shoes :( OK. Fine. How much does your wife want to lower it to this time? Well it all depends on if you're working or not and need after school care for the boys. If so, we'll pay $425/mo and if not then we'd like to lower it to $325. WHAT?!! Just wait. There's more. You wanted to NOT have to pay for the 2 months (Jul and Aug) that you would have the boys during the summer...which I might add is not even a full 2mo because you get them 2 weeks after school gets out and then give them back 2 weeks prior to school starting for a grand total of 4 weeks. So in all honesty you have them for just over a month.
Well I told you I planned on looking for work so we would go with the $425/mo. Once again we went and filled out ALL of the papers/forms we needed to so that it was all legalized. So I move to WI and leave the boys with you for the summer. We agreed that you would pay me for Aug of that first summer since I got them back that 1st weekend of Aug because I had no idea when school would start and I had to take them for testing and what not to see where they would be placed, grade-wise. You conveniently forgot to bring your checkbook when you met me in OH to drop them off and promised you'd mail me a check that week. Well I never did get a check for that month but your wife remembered to send one for Sept. Stupid me....being the idiot that I am....wrote on the memo line Sept to show that you had paid me for that month. Kind of a security for the both of us in case things got screwed up and I needed to prove anything. What I should have done was written Aug on the line instead. That way I would have gotten my money for that month.
Well as it happens you did EXACTLY what I thought you'd do. You failed to make your payments. I got a second payment in Oct but nothing in Nov or Dec. At that point I had to contact DCSE because it was quite apparent that you, nor your wife, were responsible enough to make sure that your children had what they needed. So after months of faxing forms and documents and everything else to and from DCSE, I finally started getting payments. Then came another move, only this time it was a job transfer. We were going to FL. Well I didn't need your permission for that because well....I didn't.
So we didn't meet in OH for the big switch because my sister was planning on coming down a few days after we got settled to help me unpack and visit. We told you she'd bring them home....to VA...with her when she came back. Unfortunately that didn't happen either. So you made arrangements for them to fly from Birmingham, AL to VA. The downside? I had to make the 10 hr round trip from Tallahassee, to Montgomery to drop them off with your sister. First of all, that was 10 hours...half was with 7 kids...and barely any money for food as I needed all the money I had to ensure that the other 5 kids and I would make it home. Second, just a little FYI, Montgomery is NOT the halfway point between Tallahassee and Huntsville. Not only that but you want me to pay you back for half the airfare because you had to borrow the money from your brother. Nope. Sorry. You have no costs WHAT-SO-EVER for getting them home as I'll be in VA to pick them up. To get them back that summer I told you that I'd be coming to VA to pick them up as I had a family reunion in PA in Aug and I wanted to visit my sister and friends as I'd been gone for over a year and hadn't been able to see anyone. I go to your house to pick them up, like I said I would.
Then for Christmas, it was your turn for that holiday, we met halfway in SC. You stopped on the way, in Richmond and picked up my step daughters since things were so last minute, their mother was unable to take the time off work to bring them. Thank you. That was very kind and I realize you didn't have to. But sadly, that just meant that you didn't have to drive all the way back to SC either because she offered to bring the boys back when she came to get the girls. All you had to do was drive the 4 hours (round trip) to Richmond to drop them off with her.
Jumping ahead to that June...
I bring you the boys a week early so that we could have a vacation before coming home with the girls and we needed to wait for them to be finished with school too. I drive them all the way to Stephens City to my sisters place and stay the weekend with her so that they could spend some time with their cousin. You were supposed to drive all the way out there to pick them up since I had at least driven that far. After all, it was only an hour there and back for you which would be 2 hours. Nope. You couldn't do it. You had some excuse about how the baby....OK 3yr old....was sick and your wife was taking her to urgent care and needed the Durango....which is your only mode of personal transportation. So I was the bigger person and met you in Purcellville. 45. MINUTES. AWAY. I was NOT happy but I did it anyways. Come to find out later....yeah. Your wife never took her to urgent care. Big surprise there.
So at the end of the summer, you were to buy their airfare to fly them home. As it happened, Mu hubby had a friend who wanted to give us their old van. So he took a train with the girls back to Richmond, got the van running and then had you meet him in RICHMOND to drop the boys off and he brought them home. It was your turn for Thanksgiving that year but you passed it up with some excuse about joining the army and things getting messed up. So I kept them and enjoyed BOTH holidays with them.
Jumping ahead again to June of this year, once again we took our vacation once the boys got out of school so that weekend, I attended church there in Sterling and dropped them off at YOUR HOUSE. No need for you to go anywhere. You were even allowed to keep them an extra week at the end of the summer because Thing 1 desperately wanted to spend his birthday with his dad. So I was waiting to hear from you as to whether you were going to fly them home or meet in SC again. You waited until 2 days before they were due home, to call and tell me that you were going to drive them to SC. Thanks for the notice. It's a good thing we weren't already or planning to be out of town that weekend. Oh by the way. My hubby had a side job that he had to reschedule because of your lack of being able to give proper notice.
Jumping ahead to today, it is now the 3rd, yes THIRD, Thursday of Sept which means you have already had 2, yes TWO, paydays for this month yet for some strange reason, I have not received one CS payment. Why is that? Oh maybe it's because you spent too much on you little Labor Day getaway with your wife? Or maybe you used it to go golfing with? I know that's your new favorite thing to do together. Either way, you're wife is posting, about all of the fun things you guys are doing, on FB. The worst part about that is you also went on a camping trip before the boys came up this summer but did you ever do anything fun with them? Oh yeah. You took them to your parents for a weekend so that you and your wife could do some sort of glow-ball golfing tournament. Nice. Yes they enjoyed seeing Nanny and Pa again, but seriously? You can't take them camping? Why should that surprise me though. You never took them for more than a weekend while we lived in VA anyways and even then you were entitled to 2 weeks during the summer. Did you ever take them camping then either? What? You didn't? Hmph. Guess your new family is more important. But, I digress.
Meanwhile your children are now wearing church clothes that are too small because money is so tight for us...between you and the other deadbeat dad not paying CS...that I cannot afford to just go out on a whim right now and purchase them the suits they long to have, just like the other young men at church. I'm failing....miserably...at providing for these young men because I lack the much needed support from their father. How nice it must be to have parents and in laws all with good jobs or decent nest eggs from retirement that you two can live so comfortably and not have to worry about those other kids we hardly ever see. It's sad really. I hope that one day this situation has improved. Until then, have no worries...not that you ever do anyways...as I will continue to be sweet as pie to you and your wife. But know this...the HERE AND NOW situation, is only just getting started.
Sincerely,
Your Childrens Loving Mother
Alright. Enough is enough. How irresponsible can you be? Do you not enjoy your children's company? Do you not want to see them anymore? I can make that happen.
Why is it that you pitched such a fit over my taking the children out of state but yet when you have them you do nothing with them and when they come home you take forever to start paying your child support?
Let's jump back a few years here, shall we? I seem to recall losing my job and becoming a SAHM doing daycare for a couple of friends until I found something else. Your wife found out that the kids were no longer in daycare and pitched a HUGE fit....resulting in hers and mine I handled things but I rose above it and moved on) blogging wars on Myspace. We wound up not getting along AT ALL for a few months because she felt the CS payments ($978.00/mo) were too high for 2 kids. {side note here~ she was quite jealous that you were paying me almost $1000.00 when she was getting NOTHING from her ex for her daughter.} She wanted you and I to lower the payments because you guys couldn't afford your car payment or your house payment and all that other fun stuff. Eventually you and I came to an agreement and lowered it to $700.00/mo. Things were moving right along until not quite 10mo later I asked you about moving out of the state so that My hubby ("to be" at the time) wouldn't have to quit his really good paying job with great insurance to come back to VA to start over. You said "Nope." I said OK.
Well then not even 2 months after that I get a phone call. It was you. You wanted to offer up a proposition. You would allow me to take the children out of the state IF we were to lower the child support. Again. ARE. YOU. KIDDING ME?!! We just lowered it a year ago! Your wife didn't even have enough money to buy your baby new shoes :( OK. Fine. How much does your wife want to lower it to this time? Well it all depends on if you're working or not and need after school care for the boys. If so, we'll pay $425/mo and if not then we'd like to lower it to $325. WHAT?!! Just wait. There's more. You wanted to NOT have to pay for the 2 months (Jul and Aug) that you would have the boys during the summer...which I might add is not even a full 2mo because you get them 2 weeks after school gets out and then give them back 2 weeks prior to school starting for a grand total of 4 weeks. So in all honesty you have them for just over a month.
Well I told you I planned on looking for work so we would go with the $425/mo. Once again we went and filled out ALL of the papers/forms we needed to so that it was all legalized. So I move to WI and leave the boys with you for the summer. We agreed that you would pay me for Aug of that first summer since I got them back that 1st weekend of Aug because I had no idea when school would start and I had to take them for testing and what not to see where they would be placed, grade-wise. You conveniently forgot to bring your checkbook when you met me in OH to drop them off and promised you'd mail me a check that week. Well I never did get a check for that month but your wife remembered to send one for Sept. Stupid me....being the idiot that I am....wrote on the memo line Sept to show that you had paid me for that month. Kind of a security for the both of us in case things got screwed up and I needed to prove anything. What I should have done was written Aug on the line instead. That way I would have gotten my money for that month.
Well as it happens you did EXACTLY what I thought you'd do. You failed to make your payments. I got a second payment in Oct but nothing in Nov or Dec. At that point I had to contact DCSE because it was quite apparent that you, nor your wife, were responsible enough to make sure that your children had what they needed. So after months of faxing forms and documents and everything else to and from DCSE, I finally started getting payments. Then came another move, only this time it was a job transfer. We were going to FL. Well I didn't need your permission for that because well....I didn't.
So we didn't meet in OH for the big switch because my sister was planning on coming down a few days after we got settled to help me unpack and visit. We told you she'd bring them home....to VA...with her when she came back. Unfortunately that didn't happen either. So you made arrangements for them to fly from Birmingham, AL to VA. The downside? I had to make the 10 hr round trip from Tallahassee, to Montgomery to drop them off with your sister. First of all, that was 10 hours...half was with 7 kids...and barely any money for food as I needed all the money I had to ensure that the other 5 kids and I would make it home. Second, just a little FYI, Montgomery is NOT the halfway point between Tallahassee and Huntsville. Not only that but you want me to pay you back for half the airfare because you had to borrow the money from your brother. Nope. Sorry. You have no costs WHAT-SO-EVER for getting them home as I'll be in VA to pick them up. To get them back that summer I told you that I'd be coming to VA to pick them up as I had a family reunion in PA in Aug and I wanted to visit my sister and friends as I'd been gone for over a year and hadn't been able to see anyone. I go to your house to pick them up, like I said I would.
Then for Christmas, it was your turn for that holiday, we met halfway in SC. You stopped on the way, in Richmond and picked up my step daughters since things were so last minute, their mother was unable to take the time off work to bring them. Thank you. That was very kind and I realize you didn't have to. But sadly, that just meant that you didn't have to drive all the way back to SC either because she offered to bring the boys back when she came to get the girls. All you had to do was drive the 4 hours (round trip) to Richmond to drop them off with her.
Jumping ahead to that June...
I bring you the boys a week early so that we could have a vacation before coming home with the girls and we needed to wait for them to be finished with school too. I drive them all the way to Stephens City to my sisters place and stay the weekend with her so that they could spend some time with their cousin. You were supposed to drive all the way out there to pick them up since I had at least driven that far. After all, it was only an hour there and back for you which would be 2 hours. Nope. You couldn't do it. You had some excuse about how the baby....OK 3yr old....was sick and your wife was taking her to urgent care and needed the Durango....which is your only mode of personal transportation. So I was the bigger person and met you in Purcellville. 45. MINUTES. AWAY. I was NOT happy but I did it anyways. Come to find out later....yeah. Your wife never took her to urgent care. Big surprise there.
So at the end of the summer, you were to buy their airfare to fly them home. As it happened, Mu hubby had a friend who wanted to give us their old van. So he took a train with the girls back to Richmond, got the van running and then had you meet him in RICHMOND to drop the boys off and he brought them home. It was your turn for Thanksgiving that year but you passed it up with some excuse about joining the army and things getting messed up. So I kept them and enjoyed BOTH holidays with them.
Jumping ahead again to June of this year, once again we took our vacation once the boys got out of school so that weekend, I attended church there in Sterling and dropped them off at YOUR HOUSE. No need for you to go anywhere. You were even allowed to keep them an extra week at the end of the summer because Thing 1 desperately wanted to spend his birthday with his dad. So I was waiting to hear from you as to whether you were going to fly them home or meet in SC again. You waited until 2 days before they were due home, to call and tell me that you were going to drive them to SC. Thanks for the notice. It's a good thing we weren't already or planning to be out of town that weekend. Oh by the way. My hubby had a side job that he had to reschedule because of your lack of being able to give proper notice.
Jumping ahead to today, it is now the 3rd, yes THIRD, Thursday of Sept which means you have already had 2, yes TWO, paydays for this month yet for some strange reason, I have not received one CS payment. Why is that? Oh maybe it's because you spent too much on you little Labor Day getaway with your wife? Or maybe you used it to go golfing with? I know that's your new favorite thing to do together. Either way, you're wife is posting, about all of the fun things you guys are doing, on FB. The worst part about that is you also went on a camping trip before the boys came up this summer but did you ever do anything fun with them? Oh yeah. You took them to your parents for a weekend so that you and your wife could do some sort of glow-ball golfing tournament. Nice. Yes they enjoyed seeing Nanny and Pa again, but seriously? You can't take them camping? Why should that surprise me though. You never took them for more than a weekend while we lived in VA anyways and even then you were entitled to 2 weeks during the summer. Did you ever take them camping then either? What? You didn't? Hmph. Guess your new family is more important. But, I digress.
Meanwhile your children are now wearing church clothes that are too small because money is so tight for us...between you and the other deadbeat dad not paying CS...that I cannot afford to just go out on a whim right now and purchase them the suits they long to have, just like the other young men at church. I'm failing....miserably...at providing for these young men because I lack the much needed support from their father. How nice it must be to have parents and in laws all with good jobs or decent nest eggs from retirement that you two can live so comfortably and not have to worry about those other kids we hardly ever see. It's sad really. I hope that one day this situation has improved. Until then, have no worries...not that you ever do anyways...as I will continue to be sweet as pie to you and your wife. But know this...the HERE AND NOW situation, is only just getting started.
Sincerely,
Your Childrens Loving Mother
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